Ask everyone what their attitude is towards marriage, and you will get a million different responses. However after watching the Royal Wedding this past weekend, love is in the air and many who may never have previously gotten caught up in the wedding or marriage bubble, are now claiming to be marriage-ready.

If you’re in a long-term relationship with someone, especially if you have kids, but the idea of marriage hasn’t crossed your mind until now, is there something external at play? Are you marriage-ready? Maybe your children have reached an age where they are asking why you’re not married or why you have different surnames. Perhaps, your friends and family have been bothersome with their inquiries, and you’ve not only tuned them out but the thought of marriage as well. Thoughts of tying the knot may come and go, but when if ever is the right time for you? When planning a wedding with someone you’ve been together with for a long time, is there anything different to the planning process, is it easier, or is it harder?

Here are few things to contemplate to determine: Are you marriage-ready?

Are You On The Same Page?

You might not have discussed getting married before, because it is a stressful task. This stress could impact your relationship if you decide to plan a ceremony and you might even have different ideas on what constitutes a perfect one. This level of stress might remind you of why you’ve avoided discussions about getting married in the first place. However, if you are starting to plan, it’s essential to reinforce the idea of compromise. One of the best ways around this is to attend pre-marital counseling. No matter how long you’ve been together, this is recommended, especially with the skyrocketing divorce rate. Sit down and discuss all ideas, all definitions of what marriage means to both of you. Will you take his last name? If no, is he OK with that? Planning a wedding entails big and small things that can cause unnecessary stress. Something as simple as wedding invitations, for example, could become something that you will clash over, but this doesn’t need to be the case, provided there is room for compromise. Rather than saying to your partner “It’s going to be like this and that’s final,” you’re much better off sitting down together and going over what ideas you both have for the small details like this and hash it out like adults. You can quickly go online and get wedding invitations from Paper Themes for example. Review the different styles, and decide on one that you both agree on. Again, compromise is critical. Don’t sweat the small stuff. There will be enough substantial challenges ahead. Trust me!

Does It Make Any Difference At The End Of The Day?

It’s surprising how many couples get divorced after a wedding, especially having been together for a long time before the ceremony. Even if you think you’ve done alright so far as a couple, it is likely that the stress of getting married, outside forces and wedding expenses, etc. might cause repressed issues to surface. What all is in it for me, you may be asking. Take the time to become familiar with the benefits you can get as a married couple that you weren’t eligible for before. However, understand that it should be about more than just a piece of paper at the end of the day.

Are you doing it for the benefit of minor kids, so you can all have the same surname, and it’s your desire to make family time a bit more special for them?

There have been couples who have gotten married after a long time together, and the act solidified their relationship. Success comes when marriage occurs for the right reasons. Therefore don’t allow the anticipated stress to scare you away from saying, “I Do.”

Think about this, if you have been together for a long time, and you decide to get married, will it feel any different? It’s unlikely, but every relationship is different. Be clear about your reasons or else you both could live to regret the decision. The phrase, “If ain’t broke don’t fix it,” may go a long way in this matter.

Don’t get caught up in the planning a wedding phase either. Marriage isn’t for everyone, nor are most weddings like the fairytale of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. However, if love is genuine and this man isn’t just a man you can live with, but rather the one you can’t imagine living your life without, consider that as a sign that you are really marriage-ready,

Good luck!

*Collaborative post